From the Desk of Dr. Thomas - December, 2005

This is the second post in a series of posts discussing change. Anyone who chooses to separate themselves from average is going to have to make a change, actually a whole bunch of them! While I am very much in the "build mode" of our Biometics business and am a committed student of the business, as a psychologist I've been helping people change for almost 25 years now....some for the better, some...well, I won't go there! People pay me well for this information. I'm giving it to Loop for free!

As I mentioned in the first post, there are 4 basic ways to change a behavior.

1. Cognitive restructuring
2. Learn new skills
3. Contingency management
4. Exposure

The first post had to do with changing your thinking. Cognitive restructuring, is by definition, the process of changing your thinking. I talked about this in post #1. In post #2, I'm going to continue the "how to" line of thinking and talk about perhaps the most important part of changing your thinking: PAYING ATTENTION TO AND CHANGING YOUR WORDS.

Volumes have been written about the Power of the Spoken Word. It would take 50 posts to adequately discuss these works, but I'm going to try to condense them into a few concise thoughts. I'm going to start with a quote from the Bible. In the book of Proverbs, King Solomon, who is often credited with being the wisest of all men said this:

The power of life and death are in the tongue

Personally, I find it no surprise that a guy who had 700 wives and 1000 concubines placed such a premium on watching what you say!!!

But, I want us to think about this for just a second. You don't have to necessarily be a believer here, but I want to just ask a "what if" question. What if, this were absolutely true? I'm reminded of the movie "Liar, Liar", starring Jim Carey. Carey was a chronic liar who one day realizes that everything he says, good or bad, finds literal expression in his daily life. In his case, he could not lie and every time he spoke it came to pass exactly as he spoke it. What if, the words that came out of your mouth became reality exactly as you spoke them? What if, it were true that we spoke into existence our life path? What would happen when we say in a matter of fact, "I'm freezing to death"! Or, when you say, "I'm going to die if I don't get out of here"! Or those conversations when we say, "I don't think I'll ever get out of this mess!"

Or what about those things we say in jest? "Yeah, I'm always the last to know!" Guess what? You're probably right! Some call it "Self Fulfilling Prophecy". There's an old saying that says, "What we say in jest, is what we mean the best!" If we really thought that the power of life and death are in the tongue, wouldn't we been more inclined to censor our words more carefully? And even more, if we thought that our words determined or destiny, wouldn't we immediately go to work on changing them?

Psychologist Shad Helmstetter wrote a book called "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" (a must read for anyone trying to make a change in their life, particularly build a Biometics business). He writes that words are mere expressions of our thoughts and if we are trying to change the way we think and behave, then we must change the way we talk to ourselves and others.

A couple of psychology studies reaffirm the words of Solomon and Helmstetter. I wrote in the first post about the differences between elite athletes and good ones. I'll take that a step further today. Michael Mahoney, a cognitive psychologist, studied the 1976 American Olympic Downhill Skiing Team. The number one attribute of those who made the Olympic team from those who did not was their self talk. Those whose talk was filled with positive affirmations were much more successful and made the elite team. This study has been replicated numerous times with golfers, basketball players, basketball teams, cyclists, weight lifters, and probably more by now (its been about 8 years since reviewed this literature). It was almost as if the elite performers had learned to become their own best cheerleaders!

The weight lifter study was particularly interesting. Some participants were told that the weight on the bar was an enormous weight and that no one had been able to lift it. In actuality, it was a weight that each lifter had easily mastered at some point prior to the study. Guess what happened? An overwhelming majority could not lift the weight! Why? Because the words of some stooge spoke "death" to their efforts and they did not counter with their own words of "life"! Even more interesting was that the ones who did lift the weight, spoke words of positive affirmation to themselves and others. They were the ones who countered with self-talk that it could be done and that they were just the one to do it! No one really knows whether they believed it or not when the spoke it. It may have been they were following a "fake it till you make it" route to their success. But the more interesting principle seems to be that behavior (action) followed their words, not vice versa. By the way, in Biometics, we have a way of describing individuals who do this kind of self-talk: we call them Executive Directors!

On a closing note, do you want to change a behavior? Then start speaking, out loud, your goals, your wants, your future. Not just about Biometics, but try it with your marriage, your kids, your finances, every part of your life. Begin to monitor both your self-talk (the talk going on inside your head) and your actual spoken words. Monitor them as if every one of them were going to come to full reality. Have your spouse or friend help you monitor them. Remember, the power of bringing life into your life & business is in your words. Conversely, the power to absolutely kill your business, your spirit and the spirit of those around you, is in your words.

Try this for just one day: pay attention to every word that comes out of your mouth. Keep a log with two columns: LIFE and DEATH. Place your words/phrases in one column or another, based on whether they inspired your desire and gave you energy (LIFE column) or whether they killed your energy and drained you (DEATH) column. The ones that are in the DEATH column, practice countering those thoughts with new ones that give you energy and pick you up. Practice this with a partner too. A partner will often provide new ways of thinking that help you out.

My next post will deal with changing by Learning New Skills. I'm going to pick up on something Biometics' President Ted Silverberg said on his National Call this past Monday night (if you are not on that call, it has been fantastic...don't miss them at 7:00 pm EST on Mondays). He said something to the effect that "if you are going to make a change and become successful, you are going to have to develop tolerance for frustration". Amen, Ted! This is absolutely profound. I'm going to pick up there and talk about how to develop that "tolerance for frustration" by learning new skills to manage your own emotional responses on your way to success.

As always, GO BIG!

Dr. Russ' Rubies

From the Desk of Dr. Thomas - November, 2005

I have recently had an epiphany of sorts with Biometics. I have long since been persuaded of the power of these products. Along with many other distributors, Karen & I have seen incredible results in our family and with hundreds of others. So many have experienced the increased energy, sleep regulated, relief in their mobility, mental clarity, that we have come to understand such results as the rule, not the exception.

But my revelation has come in another arena: I now live in a rural area of North Carolina where the average income is less than $25,000 per family. Do they need something to improve their health? Absolutely! But who's got time to talk about maintaining health when the tow truck is backing up to the Ford pickup and the light bill isn't paid up? No, the need in my area is financial. And, even though the numbers are lower here, my guess is that its not any different anywhere else: $500 to $1000 per month would drastically change most families in America today and ease their minds.

Coming to this understanding, I have to change! CHANGE isn't my strongest point. I, like many, like my comfort. But staying in comfort zones doesn't fulfill dreams. Staying in comfort zones doesn't generate self-esteem. And staying in comfort zones certainly doesn't pay the bills very well! So I have made a decision: I must change and I must do it...yesterday!

Like many others in Biometics, the question is, HOW DO I DO IT? WHAT DO I DO TO CHANGE? Well, this is right up my alley as a psychologist. I know something about changing behavior. I've been helping people change their behavior for almost 25 years now (it hasn't paid very well, but been oh so rewarding!) So I decided that I would make a few posts here to the Loop, offering what I know about how to change. So, here we go...

There are 4 basic ways to change a behavior:

1. Cognitive restructuring
2. Learn new skills
3. Contingency management
4. Exposure

I'm going to start with Cognitive restructuring, in other words...

NUMBER 1 POINT OF CHANGE: Its all in your head!

Hall of Fame New York Yankees catcher, Yogi Berra once was quoted as saying,

"Sports is 90% mental....the other 50% is in your head!"

While Yogi's math leaves little to be desired, his point is well made. In order to make a change, one must start with the thinking process. Most people carry around so many toxic messages in their heads that they couldn't give themselves permission to be successful even if they wanted to. The first signs of achievement would evoke those toxic demons and they would retreat under a heavy burden of negative self-image and messages of failure. If you want to change, one must begin to pay attention to the conversation in their head.

Somebody once said, "As a man thinketh, so is he". Studies have demonstrated time and time again, the difference between elite athletes and good athletes: you got it, their thought processes! When elite athletes think about their performance, those performance thoughts contain significantly less errors, victorious completion of their performances and they even dream with less mistakes than the good performers! The elite clearly have developed a way of thinking that separates them from all other performers! This information now begs the question:

Do you want to be good or do you want to be elite?

If you choose elite, pay attention to your thinking! To start changing to a path of success, look at what you are thinking and begin to counter those negative, defeated thoughts with thoughts of success. It might be awkward at first, but all change is, by definition, the process of doing something different.

Quick ideas about changing your thoughts: